The need to love and be loved is innate in all of us. Abraham Maslow, the eminent psychologist, stated that love is a fundamental human need which comes immediately after we fulfil our basic and safety needs. But we don’t need someone else to tell us how intense the desire can be to find that special someone that we can call our own. We have all felt it for ourselves.
The emotions we feel when we are in love are beyond what any words can describe. It is often said that love transcends logic. That’s why we pursue love so passionately. Also, more often than not, it has a habit of catching us off guard.
We all want to meet the perfect soulmate. Have you often wondered, “Is there someone out there for me?”
Someone you can share your entire life with, someone you can give all your love to, someone who understands you so deeply they not only love you, they love your soul, and is always there for you no matter what.
While some are lucky to find their true love, others have to jump through all kinds of hoops to find their soulmates.
We’ve all heard amazing soulmate stories of people meeting each other, sometimes in the most unlikely of circumstances, and yet still becoming the ideal couple.
A Marist Poll found that:
- 73% of people in America believe in soulmates but 27% don’t
- 80% of under 30’s believes in them
- 78% of 30 to 44-year-olds believe in ‘the one’
- Men believe slightly more at 74% than women at 71% that there is a perfect someone out there.
That’s quite a high percentage across the board.
But to be able to find our perfect soulmate, we must first understand what soulmate means. Wiki’s soulmate definition says:
“A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility and trust.”
So, how can you find the love of your life? To find your soulmate, you can do these 6 things:
- Love yourself first
- Work out what it is you want
- Be more attractive, Inside and Out
- Use the Law of Attraction
- Be prepared to leave your comfort zone
- Listen to your gut
By doing these, you will definitely improve your chances of finding that special someone in your life. Read on to see how they can help you find your soulmate.
Love Yourself First
A wise person once said, “The most important relationship that we have is with ourselves.” We rarely think about how we feel inside determines the way we see the outside world. Only when we love ourselves, will we be able to love someone else. There is an enormous amount of wisdom in those words.
If we can’t be comfortable with whom we are and let go of the inner voice that tells us we are not good enough, we’ll just keep repeating the old unsuccessful patterns.
What Do You Want?
Each of us is unique. So, naturally, the qualities that we would like our soulmates to have will be particular to us as well. The word ‘soulmate’ is used for someone if they are already ideally suited for us, but if we are clear about what we want in the other person, it will make our search easier.
Some people are not even sure of what they are looking for. They hope to bump into the right person at the right time and at the right place. Although this is not impossible, it sure is difficult.
Sometimes the right person may already be in our lives and we wouldn’t know about it, just because we are not clear about what we want in our heads. Having clarity can go a long way in helping us meet our one true love.
Be More Attractive, Inside and Out
A relationship is a two-way street. If we want our soulmates to have certain qualities that we will be attracted to, we must also have qualities that our soulmates will be attracted to.
Most people are looking for loyalty, companionship, kindness, generosity, a positive attitude and a strong physical attraction. Basically, we all want a good person. These are all traits that can be worked on.
So, if you think you could be kinder, work on that. Maybe you could do with losing a few pounds. Getting in better shape would not only make you more physically attractive to someone, but the confidence that you would get from feeling better about yourself is also an attractive quality.
Use The Law of Attraction
If we had a magic wand that could grant all our wishes, we would naturally use it to manifest all those wishes. The law of attraction is, literally, that magic wand that we all possess.
It is a vast subject that needs an entire article for itself, but basically, what it states is that our thoughts become our reality. In other words, what we think about the most is what we keep manifesting in our lives. Using this principle, we can all materialize our soulmates.
It might sound like something straight out of a fantasy movie, but it really does work. Every day, if we take some time out of our schedules and just visualise the love we would like to have in our lives, it will become a reality. That’s because when we visualise, we are not only occupied with focused thoughts but also intense feelings. If what we desire is genuine, it will come to pass.
Leave Your Comfort Zone
Most people love familiarity. This is something that has been ingrained in us throughout evolution. But, often, life happens outside our comfort zones. We keep searching for our soulmates but are not prepared to step outside our boundaries and take a chance.
For example, our ‘perfect love’ might sit next to us at a bar, but if we can’t muster up the courage to talk to them, we might miss what could have been the love of our lives. Sometimes, the things we desire the most are just outside of our comfort zones, and all we have to do is to push ourselves a little. In fact, by doing it, we also become a better version of ourselves.
Listen to Your Gut
Steve Jobs once said, “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become.” Although he wasn’t talking about soulmates, the same applies here too.
When we have met someone, our senses tell us that there might be something there, we must trust them and take action. Our gut feelings are powerful indicators in both positive and negative situations, and that powerful gut instinct that we get, that something is right or wrong for us, is right on the money more often than not.
Also, if we are using the law of attraction specifically for attracting our soulmates, we should be aware of these soulmate signs from the universe, and how they can help us find our perfect partners. Being in tune with ourselves helps us make greater sense of our gut feeling.
So how can we be sure that after doing all these things we’ve actually found our soulmate? These signs can be an excellent indication that you have found your ideal love:
- You share the same life goals
- You respect each other’s opinions
- You’re comfortable being apart but would much rather be together
- You can completely be yourself around them
- You know each other’s flaws but they don’t matter
- You’re not afraid to challenge one another
A fun way of trying to work out if you have found the one is by taking a soulmate quiz like this one here.
Finding our soulmates is not as herculean a task as most make it out to be. We just need to ensure that we keep our focus on making ourselves better with each passing day and generate a firm belief that our soulmate is out there and we will find them.
What is more important, is to sustain a healthy and happy relationship with our partners after we’ve found them. Most people are under the false impression that the journey ends when we have found them.
The journey only begins from that point. Even with an ideal partner, a relationship can be a rollercoaster ride. But if you truly love them and they truly love you, you can overcome any obstacle, hand in hand. That’s the real meaning of a ‘soulmate’.
Just in case you haven’t had enough of the lovey dovey stuff, here are a few of our favourite soulmate quotes:
“I want to be your soulmate, even if I don’t believe in them.”– Colleen Hoove
“Giving someone a piece of your soul is better than giving a piece of your heart. Because souls are eternal.” – Helen Boswell
“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen
“Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.” – Richard Bach
“True love is finding your soulmate in your best friend.” – Faye Hall